Prologue

Southern Pacific Railroad

Arizona

1887

The train carriage rocked gently and the floor rumbled beneath its passengers’ feet. The landscape outside blurred by, the trees, clouds, and hills all melting together in the bright blue sky. To Lillian Robert’s eyes, the only thing that seemed to keep its shape as the train sped through the countryside was the sun, hanging low in the sky.

The setting sun highlighted the green fields surrounding them, outlining every fence and blade of grass in gold. The warm, rich tones reminded Lillian of the paintings that hung above the fireplace in the family room back home. She and her sisters spent hours there, sketching in silence or reading with the family.

“It’s almost dark out,” Lillian’s father grunted to himself as he glanced at his pocket watch. “We should have arrived by now!” Mr. Roberts was a stout man who constantly checked the watch that swung from his front pocket on a golden chain. Despite his well-fed figure, his shoulders were still broad and his jaw square. He’d been Lillian’s rock since childhood, a supportive presence that strengthened and encouraged her.

“The train was delayed at our last stop, dear,” Mrs. Roberts reminded her husband. She gave him a reassuring pat on the shoulder before returning to the flowery embroidery design she’d been working on for the past month, her delicate hands moving deftly through the complicated pattern. Lillian had inherited her mother’s skin, as pale as a snowflake, and her rose-red lips. Mrs. Roberts’ hair had once been a deep black, but had grayed over time, giving her hair a mountain ash look. Her green eyes, although bright in her youth, had dimmed through the years to a soft sea-glass color.

“Delayed?” Mr. Roberts sat up suddenly, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. “Who said it was delayed?”

“The conductor did, dear.”

“You were asleep at the time, father,” young Bethany Roberts chirped, lowering the book in her hands.

“You were snoring really loudly,” Lucy Roberts added with a giggle.

“Stop now, you two, and get back to your verses,” their mother scolded them. “Lillian, are you not supposed to be helping your sisters with their Bible verses?”

She lifted her head from the window, where she’d been resting her forehead against the cool glass. Her parents called her by her full name, but her friends and sisters simply used “Lily”, and she’d been too distracted to catch the more formal address at first.

The stuffy car was making her feel unsettled and out of sorts. Lucy would tease her about looking sick regardless, as pale as she was. All three sisters had inherited their mother’s fair skin, but Lily’s had a porcelain cast that made her look more delicate than she was. Lucy called her the family phantom, dreaming up wilder and wilder pranks inspired by the romantic novels she read.

All three of the Roberts girls were the spitting image of their mother. Their hair was black and their eyes an emerald green. Their skin was pale and their lips red. But Lily still stood out from her mother and sisters. Slim and tall, she rose over her stout father by at least a head. Her hair was as black as a moonless night sky with a sheen like polished silver. Her eyes were wide and dreamy, filled with thought whether she was reading a book or planning a drawing.

She glanced away from the window, looking over her sisters. Her hands trembled a little, but she wasn’t really cold. A little fresh air would fix her up, if she could only make sure her sisters were settled before she left the car. The younger girls sat across from her in the booth, leaving their parents to their own space across the aisle. Lily didn’t mind caring for the other two at all; Bethany was quiet, and Lucy was, at least, entertaining.

Many girls squabbled, but Lily had cherished both her sisters throughout her childhood. Bethany always had her head in a book or her hand on a quill, but she had a head full of dreams and fascinating ideas when Lily could coax them out of her. Lucy, although she loved reading more than any of them, also enjoyed acting out the scenes in her adventure books.

It was hard to watch over a child who would one day decide she could fly like an angel and throw herself off the edge of her bed, or decide to imitate Mr. Verne’s submarine captain and submerge herself in the duck pond. Her little sister was hard to contain but easy to love. She delighted in every new sight, and she loved traveling even more than she loved her books.

Lily shared that love, and she treasured these rare excursions with her family. It wasn’t often that her father would take his wife and daughters on business trips with him. He was devoted to his family, but he believed that he should never mix family with business or the other way around.

Still, he’d taken them all to Europe only a few years ago. They would never have left Jamison without her father taking a business trip that lasted several months, but he couldn’t stand to be away from his family for that long. The history, the unfamiliar food, the delightful new accents…all of them were strange and wonderful, and Lily longed to explore it again. Maybe with her sisters, when they were all old enough. She enjoyed the thrill of adventure and the excitement of discovering new places and strange people.

She glanced at her mother from over her shoulder and stifled a disappointed sigh. They’d had such a lovely trip, but now it was almost over. She’d be glad to see her home again, but she couldn’t deny the joy that travel brought her. Her mother loved their home too much to ever really understand.

The train rocked, and Lily swallowed. She’d been feeling out of sorts all day, and the rough track wasn’t helping in the least. “I’m not feeling well at all, mother,” she breathed, clutching the Bible in her hands. The worn leather cover felt comforting under her fingertips. It had belonged to her father until he passed it on to her as a gift on her sixteenth birthday. It was worn and the pages had begun to yellow. It smelled of cigar smoke, sea salt, and the faintest hint of fish. It had traveled almost as much as her father had, and she loved it for that.

“Is everything all right?” Lily’s father asked as she slowly rose from her seat.

“I think I just need some air,” she assured him. “I’ll only be a moment.”

Lily folded her arms in and squeezed her Bible close to her chest as she walked slowly through the carriage. The sound of metal clanging against metal outside was almost deafening. The swaying of the carriage had become too much for her hours ago, but she stayed seated and cared for her little sisters as her mother expected her to.

But now she couldn’t stay in that train any longer. Her head felt too heavy to hold on top of her shoulders. There was a buzzing sound in her ears. The floor beneath her wasn’t stable and she felt almost too weak to stand. She managed a weak smile as she passed a young man in a large, black top hat sitting across from a woman with a bright pink dress and matching silk scarf.

The end of the carriage was in front of her, and she struggled to maintain her poise as she hurried towards it. Most of the passengers had taken the time to catch up on much-needed rest. However, if any of them were still awake, she didn’t want them spotting her staggering in between the booths.

Lily pulled on the door at the end of the carriage. She burst out onto the balcony at the very end of the train. The fresh air hit her face like an icy blast, cold but refreshing. The heavy feeling in her head lifted. She leaned against the railing, breathed in deep, and filled her lungs with the fresh, pine-scented air.

The balcony at the back of the train provided a little bit of shelter from the wind. It almost seemed still back there, like a steady rock in the middle of a raging sea. She clung to that stability for a few minutes, standing still and taking in deep breaths of the cool, restoring air. It settled her stomach and cleared her aching head.

She turned back towards the train, stopping as a flicker of movement caught her eye. Sunlight slanted through the trees, casting shadows over the balcony, but whatever she’d seen had been quick and purposeful. Her eyes followed the motion to the roof of the train.

A man!

The low-hanging sun offered enough light for her to see the silhouette of a man clambering over the roof of the train.

Lily gasped. She didn’t know much about trains, but she was certain that even the conductor himself wouldn’t be parading about on top of a moving train.

The shape on the train roof stopped and turned toward her. Lily raised her hand over her eyes to see him more clearly through the sun’s glow. His face was grimy, covered by a black, unkempt beard. His dark eyes were narrowed like a coyote preparing to strike, and he met her gaze with a chilling stare. A moment later, he whirled and climbed forward, heading for the front of the train.

Lily gasped and pushed herself away from the railing. Her heart was racing, pounding in her ears in tandem with the clanging metal below. The air felt too thick to breathe, somehow. No one had ever looked at her like that, as disdainfully as if she’d been a roach in the pantry.

“What’s happening?” she muttered to herself. She needed to tell someone what she’d seen. The conductor? Or better, her father. Her father always took care of everything. Maybe he would have an explanation.

As the train picked up speed, she took another breath and patted her hair into place. No one would believe her if she looked like some wind-whipped madwoman. She turned to step back into the train car, looking up to see her mother standing in the middle of the aisle. “Whatever’s wrong, sweetheart? Come inside and–”

Suddenly, the world turned sideways and so did the carriage. The tracks disappeared up ahead and the ground fell beneath them. The door handle wrenched away from Lily’s hand, and the carriage seemed to be hovering in the air for an instant.

She was frozen on the spot. Her mother stared back with fear-filled eyes before the carriage lurched, throwing them both to the side. Lily clutched at the air, trying to grab anything that she could.

“Wait! Wait!” she cried out, still grasping blindly.

It was all happening too quickly. She didn’t know what to think. Then, she saw the ground rushing to meet them.

The man on the roof, Lily thought in that instant. Did he do this?

The floor of the car crumpled with a sickening crunch. All along the track, sharp thuds echoed like gunfire through the woods, metal shrieking as the tracks distorted. The impact sent Lily flying off the back of the train. Her nails dug into the leather of her Bible and she clutched it tightly as she lost her grip on the world around her.

Her breath came short, a chill creeping over her skin as darkness crept in from the corners of her eyes. She slammed against something hard and the world went black.

Chapter One

Sharp Town, Arizona

1887

When Lily awoke, all she could feel was a throbbing pain. It was in her head, but with every breath she took the ache spread throughout her entire body. Her fingers tingled and ached, and stabbing pain twinged in her torso with every breath she took. Something warm dripped down her face. She couldn’t move. So she didn’t. She stayed on the cold ground, her back resting against something hard and her eyes gazing vaguely toward the sky.

The chill in the air was like ice water rushing over her bare skin. There was a flicker of light, red like the sun, but it wasn’t the sun. The sky was dark. Not a star decided to shine and even the moon was only a crescent sliver hiding behind gray, wispy clouds.

Chaos surrounded her. The pain that surged through her body as she slowly lowered her head was almost unbearable. She squinted as she turned her eyes towards the deep, red glow. It was fire and it was spreading quickly. The sound of flames crackled through her ears as the stinging smell of smoke filled her nose.

“Mother?” she tried to call, but only a harsh whisper escaped her mouth. “Father?”

The pain stayed constant as she tried to move. She almost wished it would drive her into a faint, but she had to find her family. She pulled her knees towards her chest, ignoring the throbbing in her ankles as she flexed them. Then, she pressed her hands into the ground. It was soft and wet. She tried to focus on these small details. They helped distract her from the pain.

She pushed up off the ground, slowly shifting her weight from her arms onto her legs. As she stood up, she seemed a lot taller or the ground seemed further away. Lily had to force herself not to look down. She felt dizzy whenever she saw how far she would fall if she lost her footing.

The grass beneath her bent under her weight. The sound of dry branches knocking together echoed above her. She was surrounded by trees that had already lost their leaves in the autumn chill. She must have been in a clearing, she thought, since the trees stood at a short distance and none were close enough to touch.

“Mother?” she called out again, but only she could hear her words over the chaos around her. She staggered forward, drawn by the flickering red light she could see through the trees.

The sight before her was horrifying. The twisted and broken body of the train lay in front of her. The wooden frame that made up the inside of the carriages was splintered and shattered, flames licking through the jagged remains.. The metal was bent in ways she never thought possible, and the tracks themselves looked like jackstraws dropped by a careless child.

A thick lump gathered in her throat, choking the air away before it could reach her lungs. Her legs shook like gelatin when she tried to stand on them. There was a chill in the air and the moon’s cold light shone down on the wreckage in front of her. It seemed like a world away, but in reality she was so close that she could feel the heat from the flames.

In that moment, she realized she wasn’t alone. There were people all around her, rushing to and from the train. Some cried out for help while others were calling the names of their loved ones, but for Lily the world might as well have been silent. The only voices she wanted to hear had gone still.

“Eric!” a young woman screamed, pushing past Lily.

She watched as the woman ran towards the train’s twisted form and collapsed beside the body of a man on the ground. Lily waited and hoped that the man would move, but he didn’t. Instead, the woman leaned her head on his chest, her shoulders shaking with her sobs.

Lily rose dizzily to her feet and staggered toward the wreckage.

She heard cries for help. Some of them might have been directed to her, but she couldn’t truly understand them. When her path took her past another person, she stepped around them or pulled them up if they reached for her. She didn’t call out for her parents any more. She was too afraid she wouldn’t receive a response.

Varnished wood caught her eye. The shape was familiar—the balcony at the back of the last carriage where she and her family had been seated. A spark of hope lit in her heart. She recognized some of the passengers as they sifted through the wreckage. The young man with the black top hat and a woman who was wearing a bright pink dress and matching scarf were familiar. Only now the hat and scarf were missing and her dress was covered in mud and soot. If they had survived, maybe her parents and sisters were still there.

The small spark of hope gave her the strength she needed to run towards the carriage. The passengers parted as she rushed through them. Her eyes scanned over each of their faces, searching through the smoke and bruises. That hope freed the names she’d wanted to scream out since she awoke.

“Bethany! Lucy!” she cried. “Has anyone seen my sisters?”

The crowd simply stepped away from her as she ran towards them. She hurried towards an older man as he seemed to try and move away.

“Sir, please, have you seen my sisters? We were sitting across from you,” he asked, clasping her hands in a silent plea.

The man gazed into her eyes and she spotted tears forming just before he turned away, suddenly unable to look at her.

“Mother, where are you? Father?” She crouched down next to a woman sitting on the ground, tending to a gash on her arm. “Have you seen them? Has anyone seen them?” Lily asked, turning back to the crowd gathered around the wreckage.

Why is no one helping me? she thought as she moved through the crowd.

Finally, she felt a hand on her shoulder, steadying her. She turned her head slightly to see the woman in the pink dress standing behind her. The woman motioned towards the still bodies gathered on the ground. Lily couldn’t bring herself to look at their faces. She could see enough without that.

The white lace dress her mother wore. The blue silk scarf Bethany loved. A gold watch on a long chain.

With a sob, Lily covered her face and fled from the wreckage.

***

Lost in the trees, Lily collapsed to her knees. They sank into the soft, damp earth beneath her. She folded her hands and brought them to her chest. With her eyes closed and her heart open, Lily looked to the heavens. The words she muttered in her solitude were softer than anyone could hear, but those words were not meant for any worldly ears.

“He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Lily knew her words would rise up and that He would hear her, but deep down in her heart, she wondered. Would He truly hear her words? Would He heed their urgency? After all, it was He who had taken them away from her or, at least, He did nothing to stop those that did.

“I don’t understand,” she whispered, dropping her hands and opening her eyes. “Why?”

She looked up to the cloudless sky and squinted at the pale moon’s light.

“I know we are all your children and I know we are meant to return to you, but why?” she asked the endless sky. “That is all I ask of you. Why take them from me? Why leave me here alone?”

She dropped her head, choking back the tears building up inside of her. She would need all her strength simply to see the next morning, but she didn’t know if she had any left to give.

She folded her hands once again. Half-spoken prayers flowed from her cracked lips as someone pushed through the bushes and undergrowth behind her. She heard the twigs crack beneath a heavy weight.

“Excuse me, miss.” It was a man’s voice, deep and reassuring. She could tell from its tone that his heart was filled with kindness. When she turned to look, she saw experience and wisdom in his bright blue eyes. His skin was tanned and hardened and a stubbly shadow dusted his cheeks and chin. On his chest, he wore a gold, star-shaped badge.

Lily gave him only a glance to decide if he was trustworthy. Once she saw the badge, she turned all her attention back to her prayers.

“I’m Sheriff Parsons. A few of the young men and women back at the train said they spotted a young lady stumbling out this way.” He walked closer, eyeing her with both suspicion and worry. “Are you hurt in any way, ma’am?”

“My comfort in my suffering is this: Your promise preserves my life,” Lily continued, paying him no mind.

“I can’t allow you to stay out here on your own ma’am,” Sheriff Parsons continued. “There’s a nearby town and we’re currently escorting all the survivors of the wreckage there. Please come with me and we can get you looked at by a doctor.”

The Sheriff slowly reached his hand out. It was a helping hand whose only purpose was to comfort and console her, but these were not things that Lily wanted. She wanted to be alone. She wanted to be back on the train with her family. She wanted to be lost in her prayers to the Lord.

Sheriff Parsons placed his hand gently on her shoulder and she batted it away. She scrambled to her feet, spun, and sprinted into the woods. The Sheriff called out to her, but she paid him no mind. She heard his footsteps following behind her until they faded into silence. Then there was only her, the trees around her, and the endless sky above.